My First has Her First

I never had a solid group of girlfriends until college. I had two great girlfriends in high school who were a year older than me, so by my senior year I was left with my boyfriend at the time and a couple guy friends. I tended to have more guy friends than girlfriends in high school. Which I was fine with at the time. And while the cool girls in high school seemed to like me ok, we never really hung out much on the weekends. I was never really one of them. So it wasn’t until college that I really bonded with a group of girls and realized what I had been missing. College is certainly one of those experiences that really can bond people together for life. Something about being out on your own and starting to figure yourself out as a real person. An individual. A grown up. My mom still sees her college girlfriends about once a year. My Barn Girls are strewn across the country now (with 4 of the 8 of us somehow living in Texas, even though we went to school in Virginia and that’s not where any of them are from). But when we get together, that bond where you can tell each other anything, is somehow still there.

When I moved to NYC in the summer of 2001 (two months before 9/11), I was really concerned about building a community of friends. I knew people from various theatre jobs but wasn’t sure how or if I was ever going to have the same kinds of friends again. And it took some time. A lot longer than in college, when you spend four hours with someone at a freshman orientation party the first week of school and suddenly know they will be your friend for life. It took several years to build that in NYC. But now I’m fortunate enough to have my college girls and my NYC girls. And the NYC girls all started with Amanda.

I will never forget when I met her. I’d been in NYC for all of 2 weeks, max. I’d heard through the brother of someone who went to my old church in Virginia that there was going to be a picnic in Brooklyn. So I studied my subway map and got on the train from Astoria to Brooklyn with my bag of Doritos and my oatmeal cookies and headed to Brooklyn for this picnic. I wouldn’t know anyone there. Anyone. And I’d never been to Brooklyn in my life. The trip took forever. Once we crossed into Brooklyn from Manhattan, I checked the map constantly, convinced I was going to miss the stop, get off at the wrong place and be lost in Brooklyn forever. When my stop finally came I was at least a half hour late (not wanting to be the first one to arrive) and wandered fairly blindly into Prospect Park. The meeting spot was under the weeping willows by the stream. What? How did I ever find it? When I finally found the place, there was no one there. Ach! I was almost an hour late, how could I be the first one here?? So I called the contact number my friend’s brother gave me and a girl named Cassie answered. They were walking over. A herd of people showed up moments later. Introductions were made. Blankets were spread out. Doritos were shared. And I met a slew of people. But I remember sitting on a blanket, talking to Amanda. She was about my age. She had just moved here too, a few weeks before me. She was from Georgia, where I had family. She lived in Queens, like me. She wanted to be an actress too. My little heart lit up. She was a possible friend! I remember being too shy to ask her for her phone number because I didn’t want her to think I was a weirdo. Or straight out of Single White Female. And when I left, I was so sad because I didn’t know if I would see her again.

But never fear! I saw her the very next weekend at church. She sat the row in front of me. I talked to her afterwards and screwed up the courage to ask for her number. I crumbled and admitted I’d wanted to ask her for it before. And I think I probably said something like, “Can I have your number so we could maybe be friends?” Apparently she was glad I asked because she had been wanting to be friends with me. And had also wanted to ask me for my number too, but was shy. And so, my First Friendship in NYC began. We would go to auditions together. We would go to parties together. We’d meet for coffee or frozen yogurt. I think we even went to Hip Hop Class together. (Can you picture it? She was actually pretty good. Me, less so.) We talked endlessly about boys. And life. And auditioning. And the Future. And we cried about all of it too. Pretty much weekly. And almost always at this pizza place on 49th and Broadway.

So we’ve lived 8 years of life together in NYC. Lots of laughs. Lots of tears. Lots of chick flicks. I introduced her to her husband. Which he still thanks me for on a regular basis. And rightly so. She was the first of my NYC girls to get married. And now she’ll be the first one to have a baby. She’s due in February. They’re having a little girl.

And so, last weekend we had Amanda’s baby shower. The rest of my NYC girls, Alison, Marisa (who REALLY needs to update her blog :-P) and Megan hosted it with me at Alison’s apartment. And it even involved a sleepover the night before. Talk about classic girlfriend stuff. We ordered in, got crafty and prepped decorations, talked and watched The Holiday. Totally classic chick stuff.

The morning of the shower dawned and Alison and I headed out to walk Rupert and pick up a few last minute items. My favorite moment of the walk? Seeing this kid heading into the grocery store.


Just out and about with his hooded towel as his cape. Absolutely. I used to wear towels on my head and pretend I was a princess with long beautiful hair. So I totally get it. Love that his dad let him wear it on the street too.

So Alison headed back to the apartment and I went for a little power walk. Since I knew we'd be eating all kinds of crazy deliciousness. When I got back to the apartment I fixed us a couple of these puppies to kick the cooking off to a good start.


Yum.

OK, so Marisa and I were in charge of tea party sandwiches. We made three. A curried chicken salad, which was EXCELLENT. A Turkey and Earl Grey Honey Butter. I felt very fancy. Here's my homemade honey butter (that's shredded apple and loose earl grey tea mixed into the butter & honey):


And of course, cucumber sandwiches. Duh. What tea party is complete without them? Ours were a cucumber mint. And they were pretty killer. A huge hit. We ran out pretty quickly.


I of course managed to take basically zero pictures of the food. Zero. This was the closest I got. Helpful.


So people started to arrive. There was much merriment. And a crazy amount of gifts. So after food and socializing we played Baby Celebrity. All kinds of famous babies made it into the pot. Suri Cruise, Apple Paltrow, Shiloh Jolie-Pitt. Maggie Simpson. Baby Jesus. You know, the usual.

Megan explains the rules. (And you can kind of see the sign Alison made hanging over the mirror. The baby's name will be Laura Mackenzie. I love it.)


Amanda nannied (is that a word? and if so, it can't possibly be spelled like that!?) for several years for a wonderful couple who has four girls. Noel, Toni, Eliza and Tori. And most of my NYC girls babysat for these four at some point and in some capacity. I remember when Eliza (second youngest) was just starting to talk and Tori, the youngest was just walking. These girls are so grown up now! It freaks me out. They were all at the shower and were a big help. When most of the ladies were still chatting after the game, Eliza was REALLY ready to start opening gifts.


So the ladies followed suit and finally the opening of amazing, adorable and mostly pink things began...

Adorable. And hand made by the gift giver.


This was amazing too. Amanda loved it. A baby stroller for the baby's baby. 'Cause you know Laura will need to push her own baby around. I sure did when I was little. Only we were living in England at the time and so mine was a pram, not a stroller. Clearly.


Pouffy pink princess dress. Every girl needs one.


Tori recycles the bows as Amanda Decoration


Amanda works it


Classic Kristin & Marisa. They are so pretty.


Amanda laughs at her neice, Sarah, who was saying hysterical things all day. She told Amanda that she hoped the baby would be smiling as soon as she came out. I think this picture was taken right after Sarah said she wanted the baby to wear the pouffy pink dress "the first time she comes to see me". Kids are the funniest.


One of my gifts to Amanda. A onesie and matching hat that says, "I was worth the wait". 'Cause it will be true.


Marisa hangs out with little Lucy, who I got to spend so much time with at a party a month or so ago. She is such a peanut.


Tori, who helped Alison with flower arrangements, got to take a mini bouquet home.


Amanda with the two future Grandmas....



So the shower was great fun. And I think Amanda had a great time. It's so wild that we're at this point in our lives. And I can’t quite believe it. It’s amazing to think how much has happened since our first year in New York. Since our weekly crying dates at 49th and Broadway. You never think when you’re crying over calzones and a salad bar about the state of your life and how stupid boys are and will anyone ever put us in a show that 8 years from that moment you’ll both be married and one of you will be about to be a mother. I never cease to be amazed at the way life… amazes you. And surprises you. And doesn’t actually end with you in tears at an over-priced tourist trap in midtown at the age of 24.

Amanda, I love you. I'm beside myself with excitement for you about this next chapter. And so glad to be able to still be a part of it all these years later.