kate and geoff: March 2009

MONDAY
It begins again. After a weekend with Mom, and while Geoff recovers from a ridiculously long and hard weekend of 12 hour shoot days and less than a quarter of that in sleep, I head back to the office. Tired. Mom and I were up late too. And lost an hour with the springing forward. Arrive at work shortly after the suggested time of 10am. The usual hecticness, then a reading at 2pm, quite good and interesting with talented actors, back to the office for more and by 630pm I'm down at NYU to teach the first of a trilogy of audition workshops for NYU's CAP21 musical theatre majoring seniors. 3.5 hours there, and some nice moments of feeling like maybe I actually helped them a bit and answered a few questions. Or at least I tell them what I wish someone would have told me at their age. A nice chat with my friend who is one of their teachers. About life. And "the business". And how we both think there's more/different that we want. And it will come when it's supposed to. Encouraging. Home by 11pm for dinner. Sit next to Geoff on the couch for an hour or so. Not able to talk much, on account of the Tired, but just needing to be near each other, since we haven't had any recharging time together over the weekend. I fall asleep on the couch during an episode of Property Virgins where a gay couple, both named Scott, search for their dream home. No idea if they found it.

TUESDAY
Day 2 of 5. Busy as usual. Lots of fragments of things that want tending to. Which leaves me feeling like I must have forgotten 12 other things. And increases my general job-induced dyslexia. Auditions at the end of the day for 8 year old boys to understudy in a play. Found one at 620pm, will hire him tomorrow, but for now, I dash to the subway and head downtown. Catch the express and get off at 14th street, but no local train in sight to take me the one stop further that I need to go. Head above ground and walk it instead, there's time. Slight drizzle. West village. Dash to ATM and arrive in time for the 7pm show that my friend Sarah Lilley has the lead in. Miles (of Alice's Tea Cup fame) has saved me a seat. I pre-order my 2 drink minimum and catch up with him. We agree on how to survive in this city/this business. Marisa makes it just in time and the show starts. Its nothing to write home about, but Sarah sure is. Charming and funny as all get out in a part that Carol Burnett originated when this show first played on the Broadway back in the day. We enjoy the heck out of Sarah and hang at the bar afterwards. Chatting, reminiscing, totally digging the amazing mix of 80s music they are playing which makes me want to sing at the top of my lungs, even though I'm hungry and tired. Catch up a bit with Marisa. Ride the subway home with Miles. Home by 11:15pm for dinner. Geoff arrives soon after from a networking meeting. We talk a bit. I do manage to fit in a small meltdown before bed. In the fashion of a 4 year old who is just so tired all they can do is cry. Everything triggers everything else. And I tell Geoff maybe I can't shoot the wedding with him on Saturday. This week is going to be so busy and I'm really stressed about being booked every night. Even though that's a common occurrence, I haven't had a week like this in a month or so. And what, I've gotten out of the habit? I forget how to handle it? I will need a day off on Saturday. I selfishly dream of it. How can I feel this way when it's only Tuesday? And while he's in the bathroom brushing his teeth, I tell God all the things I'm tired of. Out loud. And I feel a bit better.

WEDNESDAY
Hump Day. I hate it when people call Wednesday that. Surely we can think of a better phrase for it. I can't help it, it only makes me think of what dogs shouldn't do to your leg. I'd prefer a less awkward mental picture, please. Auditions in the morning. Didn't quite find what we wanted. Maybe one guy. He's a good actor, but is he right for this part? Spend the rest of the afternoon scrambling to have more options to bring the director tomorrow. Phone calls come at inconvenient times and I'm running late for my "early departure" - leaving at 5:15pm today. Get wires crossed with Geoff about meeting him downstairs at the end of the day. It's half AT&T's fault, but it still makes me fussy. We are heading to Newark tonight to see Alison in her show. Yes. TOPOL in Fiddler on the Roof has come to the NJ Performing Arts Complex and the Bokas wouldn't miss it. We can't find a gas station on the way, but eventually do, and solve my fussy-ness via processing/talking it out. We arrive, park and have to eat at the hotel restaurant across the street since both NJPAC restaurants are PACKED. Our waiter informs us that we are "late late late" if we're wanting to make the show (it's just before 630pm for a 730pm show - please....I've eaten a full dinner in FAR less time in the city, get over yourself). We have a glass of wine, steak for him, salmon for me and make it in plenty of time. Told you. We have box seats. As we are fancy. We eat candy in our box seats, which is so against the laws of theatre etiquette and it drives me NUTS when Geoff does it at theatre in NYC, but I do not care here, as it is Jersey. 1) Because no one knows us here and 2) because it's Jersey. No offense. The show is good. Alison is great (naturally), and Topol is hamming it up. But besides the fact that you can tell he's been doing this show for 50 years, he's actually pretty good. Consider me surprised. I'd take a little less clowning and mugging from him, but NJPAC feels differently. They LOVE him. At his curtain call we may have actually been transported to a Jonas Brothers concert, considering the thunderous applause and screaming and leaping to feet. Alison says its like this in every city, every night. Wow. We see her afterwards and she rides back to the NYC with us. We discuss the tour. And life. And Decisions. And drop her at 82nd and Amsterdam, making plans to see her at the weekend. We drive home. I am thirsty. Geoff (kindly and because of his great love for me) drops me at the house so I can get water ASAP while he looks for parking on his own. He always drops me off first. Love him for that and many other things. Home at 1130pm again. But at least we ate dinner at a decent time tonight. That's something.

THURSDAY
Closing in on the end. Auditions at noon. We start running way behind. And I have to tell one poor actor we won't have time to see him today. After he waited an hour. He was lovely and understanding. But I feel bad, regardless. Also feel bad for two more reasons involving two of my friends - one not being given the additional required scenes by her agent and the other, shoved aside a bit by a less than warm/less than considerate someone else. We get it cast, and with good actors. The one from yesterday that I thought was good but might not be quite right, apparently was both good and right, as he booked the job. Which of course makes me question myself. In perhaps an unfair way. But the whole thing makes me feel crappy and when it's over I flee slightly to get lunch before heading back to the office. I get cheese on my sandwich in attempts to self medicate. As always, it ends up being disappointing. More afternoon work, including Light Mill duties I have shirked as there has been no time up until now. Am therefore behind. Take advantage of some post 630pm quiet time in the office to catch up on that. Geoff finds another shooter for Saturday. I am off the hook. And.... relieved. Head down to Union Square and snag a very disappointing snack-sized pesto chicken salad from Au Bon Pain prior to seeing This Beautiful City at the Vineyard Theatre. Interesting subject matter. Based on real interviews from New Life Church in Colorado Springs and examines the evangelical Christian movement there in light of Ted Haggard's sex/drug scandal and alongside gay rights initiatives. Very interesting. And very impressive (and accurate) performances by most of the actors. Very interesting. Not quite as even-handed as they'd like to think it is, but far more so than most theatre that deals with Christianity. FAR more. I'm sure I'm biased, as everyone is, but consider myself right in the middle of these two often opposing groups. the Right and the Left. The Christian and the Not. So.... feel I can make relatively sound judgements about when something is fair to both sides. Am still thinking about it. But perhaps more on that and my experience/thoughts on the subway ride home another time. Swing by the grocery store on the way home, as I am craving granola for dinner. I purchase 2 different kinds, and try to remember if our milk is past its due date. I leave the grocery store, still concerned about our milk status, so I buy another quart at the Turkish deli across from our apartment building, just in case. By 1130pm I'm home in my PJ's and contemplating a second (small) bowl of granola, as I have to see if the other kind is any good. (The old milk was fine, by the way). Geoff gets home another 45 minutes later from a networking party in CT that a wedding planner friend threw in his honor (complete with his picture pasted to Popsicle sticks - like... Geoff masks) and he falls asleep pretty quickly. I'm close behind.

FRIDAY
Finally. No more auditions this week. Phew. Plenty of list making, organization, planning, phone calls, some Light Mill prep. Busy, but the least busy of the week. And oh no. I've got to do auditions on a Saturday. Sometime in the next 2 weeks. And our 2 remaining weekends in this month already have one day each completely occupied due to work of some kind. Nuts. No choice though. Just means less time for us. We will have to deal. I breathe. I take a walk to the bathroom and fill up my water bottle and breathe. And dive back in. Disappointing Potato Leek Soup for lunch. Better with salt, so I add some, as I am unafraid. Emails. A phone call from an agent who thinks his client is so right for a particular part. He describes her, and she seems anything but. One co-worker has a date this weekend and the other is very funny about it. As in making jokes, not as in acting funny/upset about it. Someone from another department comes in around 5pm asking if we have any alcohol. We do. We open and 5 of us split a bottle of pino grigio while we finish up the last of things. I make it out by 620pm. Yippee!! Home by 7pm. Enjoy the book I'm reading on the train. The one I'm reading on my iPhone. That I downloaded for free, as I never pay for anything dowloadable from iTunes or iPhone. I only have applications that are free, as am kind of a cheap bastard. Wonder how the poor author makes any money if I didn't have to pay for his book. Am concerned for him. Geoff is finishing up his day when I get home. I perch on the L part of the couch ("my spot") and we talk. And decide what to do about dinner. We talk. We laugh. We have wine and order Mexican food. And watch The Millionaire Matchmaker. Because I love her. She tells it like it is. And the Real Housewives of NYC. Who Geoff doesn't like as much because their drama stresses him out. They are pretty ridiculous. We do like Bethany and Jill though. We talk a bit and get to bed by midnight. He has a big day tomorrow. And I feel a little guilty for having tomorrow off. I remind myself that I need it. That the more I push myself to suck it up and push through on a week like this, the worse it is for everyone. Still feel guilty though. Will have to work through that some more, it seems.

SATURDAY
Get up early for brunch at Pastis with Alison and Sarah. 930am brunch because Alison has to be in NJ by 1pm for her matinee and will have to catch a train. Geoff gets to sleep in a few more minutes after I leave at 830am, and I want him to get as much rest as he can before the 12+ hour day on his feet that awaits him. I slip out. And enjoy my iPhone book. The Whiskey Rebels - very good so far. Slow in the very first few pages, but am really enjoying it now. Historical fiction. Which is so up my tree. (I realize that is a phrase we use at work, which basically means, "up my alley" - just in case anyone was confused). Still wouldn't have paid for it, since I never do, but do hope this author has some sort of all encompassing deal about free downloads, as I'm really liking him. I get out of the train at 8th Ave & 14th street and start heading to Pastis a few short blocks away. And realize I'm completely turned around. In the way that I used to be when emerging from the subway back when I first moved to the city. Back when I exited the subway with one finger or a thumb pointed discreetly (hands down at my sides) in the direction that the train was going when I got off it, so I would have some concept of uptown/downtown when I emerged above ground. Clearly should have done that today, as am fully as turned around as a first timer. Make it to Pastis and sit down with Sarah. Alison is missing. And ends up not able to make it. We miss her. But I shall see her when she's back in a few weeks at the beginning of April. Sarah and I have great conversation. About life. And fascinating conversation about how Sarah thinks the driven/independent part of me (the part that got me this far in this life and this city) needs to maybe take a backseat for a while. And let myself rest without feeling guilty. Without beating myself up. And I see the logic of that, and yet have a hard time silencing those voices and expectations I have of myself. And I don't fully realize that I am being that hard on myself. That deep down I think, in addition to feeling guilty for not helping Geoff with the shoot today, I should also use this day to myself to:
Go to the eye doctor
Go to the gym
Get groceries
Organize my iTunes on my new hard drive
Clean out my closet, as it is a disaster
Figure out a crock pot recipe to try tomorrow
Start organizing my receipts for taxes
Finish the last 12 thank you notes from the wedding
Clean out my filing cabinet and transfer files to Geoff's
Drop off the laundry
Edit photos for various friends
Blog
Make the apartment homey and welcoming for Geoff when he comes home after his long day
14 other similar errands
Basically get my act together

And likely, I won't do most of those things, but will feel like I should have. But after Sarah tells me to stop being so hard on myself and I feel tears start to well up in my eyes, there in the middle of the subway mezzanine with the world passing by (including a group of JMU kids on spring break), I know that means there's truth to it. And so I decide to let myself off the hook today. I read The Whiskey Rebels on the way home. I talk to Alison briefly before her show. I get home, change into sweats and lay on my bed reading until I get hungry. Then have half the other half of my burrito from last night and start to watch some TV, but blog instead. I know, I know, that seems like it was on my list of "things I should do", but I do actually enjoy it. In a way that I don't enjoy cleaning my closet, prepping my taxes or going to the gym. It helps me process. I look at photos that I like. And Geoff just texted to say that his day is going fairly well so far, all things considered, and that he's glad I'm resting myself. And he wrote it with an exclamation mark, so I know he means it. So now....back to those Whiskey Rebels.

This may have been the longest post ever. If you made it this far, I trust it was interesting enough to you, so I won't apologize.

Geoff had a shoot at a conference at the Homestead in Virginia all last weekend and so Mom came down from Maine to spend a girls weekend with me in NYC! We did all kinds of mother/daughter things. We bought new cleaning supplies at Home Depot. We went to the grocery store. We cleaned my apartment. She scrubbed the stove and claimed to be having so much fun. Apparently moms love to do things like that for their girls. She even said that her mom used to come visit and have a blast cleanling and polishing mom's toaster oven. Who knew?

So we did a TON of other domestic things. We repotted our basil plants, which had gotten terribly tall, but a little sad looking, and we realized there were bugs. So we took care of that. We went to an extra grocery store for spices that the first grocery store didn't have. We spent a ton of time on Facebook looking up old middle school/high school/college friends of mine, so mom could get an update. We bought hydrangeas, which died overnight. We went to brunch. We talked. We prepped some Provencal Beef Stew for my first attemt at Crockpot cooking, since our crockpot arrived last week. VERY fun. (And the stew was amazing...we've been eating it all week). And we went to Alice's Tea Cup. Which is THE NYC place for girls. Of all ages, really, even though technically it specializes in little girls.

The tutus available for wearing during a little girls visit to the Tea Cup. They give out fairy wings too.

And they sprinkle you with "fairy dust" if you want some. They tell you to close your eyes and make a wish. Mom couldn't resist.

And my friend Miles works there. He's the one giving mom her fairy dust. Please notice her pink wings.

Tea was lovely. They have a billion kinds. And great scones. And soup and sanwiches and salads. And it truly must be a magical place for little girls. I was thinking about it as we left....if I was a little girl I would want to go all the time. The fairy dust, the tutus, the wings, the fun quotes written all over the walls. SUCH a blast. And so great to see mom. Great for some girl time. We didn't have more than a day together over the holidays, so it was wonderful to have a girls weekend!

Lets do it again!!