Ghetto or Genius?

I have to confess something. Though I have organizational skills for sure, I'm also slightly a mess. Geoff has always affectionately referred to me as a ragamuffin. Which is a nice way of saying, "a slight disaster, but in a charming way".

I never send birthday cards on time, if ever. Or anniversary cards. Even though they are marked on my calendar. Important dates always sneak up on me. I haven't been to the dentist in over a year and a half. Not because I'm afraid of him but because I just can't get around to it. I need new contacts and really want new glasses. Can't get to the eye doctor either. Despite the fact that Geoff refers to my current pair of glasses as my "fat girl glasses". Meaning that they don't look like something his sexy wife would wear. They look like what the sad fat girl wore in middle school. And he's not wrong. But I still can't get to the glasses store for a new pair.

I once wore this pair of sunglasses all the way to work before I realized that they were broken.



And then I bought another pair and the exact same thing happened. Seriously? Seriously.


I have about 12 gift cards, some for significant amounts of money that we got as wedding presents that just sit in my purse because I don't have time to go to Bed Bath & Beyond. There are STACKS of folders with headshots near my desk that I just can't find time to file. I've only done half the thank you notes from our wedding. And the rest of them just give me the evil eye every time I get in late from the theatre and have to just fall into bed. Geoff has given me an "Inbox" in an attempt to organize my desk at home and I always forget to look in it. I go FAR too long before doing laundry. Which results in some questionable outfits. I always put my makeup on every morning on the subway on the way to work, as I inevitably run out of time while I'm getting ready at home. Despite introducing myself as Kate Boka, and having changed my work email, I've not even legally changed my name since the wedding because of all the paperwork and the running around all over the city to get it done. I have one black dress that I have worn to basically every opening night I've gone to since I've started this job over 4 years ago. As Geoff has pointed out on many occasions (in a nice, but slightly sad voice), I am not very good at doing the dishes, as apparently I consistently miss a spot. Or multiple spots. And you may remember the "half cocked" painting job I did on our kitchen.

But the most classic example, and truly the moment I realized just how busted I am, occurred last weekend. I was searching for an outfit to wear and pulled out a yellow shirt that I wore a lot in Italy....particularly you might remember it from the pictures of bike riding in Lucca. It has all these pleats on a band at the bottom and I haven't worn it since I washed it last and it was really wrinkled. However, I never iron anything. Mostly because our ironing board is broken and so we threw it out three weeks ago, but also because there's never any time for ironing. I just usually pick another outfit to avoid ironing. Which can take even longer than the ironing itself.

But I really felt this shirt calling to me and wanted to wear it. So there I was, standing alone in our bedroom, half dressed, running late, talking to myself and ironing my shirt with the flat iron that I am supposed to use on my hair. It actually worked pretty well on those pleats but of course, it couldn't reach the rest of the shirt. And I thought to myself....this is ridiculous. And yet.....(picture the lightbulb going on)...resourceful. Who else has to iron a shirt with a hair straightener because they haven't had time to buy an ironing board? Probably lots of inventive New Yorkers. And possibly they should use it as a challenge on the Amazing Race. Or maybe I should send it in as an idea to Real Simple for their "New Uses for Old Things" section. And yes, I totally abandoned the yellow shirt for a different outfit when the flat iron couldn't work past the pleats.

But perhaps we will now view my "ragamuffin-ness" as both charming AND resourceful. In the same way that my lack of dishwashing skills could just be viewed as a resourceful/innovative way to get Geoff to wash the dishes. Wonder what Real Simple would think about that idea....

An Unexpected Guest

Well, what an adventure we had this morning. I was all ready for work, sitting on the bed chatting with Geoff for a few minutes before heading out the door when we heard the wind blowing the blinds quite violently. Which was odd, because though the window was open, the blinds weren't actually moving that much. Then I had an unusual sense that we were not alone. And sure enough, moments later, the little head of a SQUIRREL peeked out from behind our curtain. He was on our windowsill ON THE INSIDE! IN OUR BEDROOM! I screamed like a girl and lept off the bed, backing out of the room and alerting Geoff to his presense.

Geoff told me to calm down, it was only a squirrel. Which was true. And at least it wasn't a scorpion or armadillo, which my friends Mike & Michelle have to worry about. But as you may remember from my recent post about Colette, I don't do well when wild animals show up in my home unannounced. We learned this morning that this does indeed apply to squirrels as well as mice.

Meanwhile, Geoff tried to usher the little guy out. And told me to grab the camera. Now, screens did not come with our apartment, so we bought some ajustable screens from Home Depot and have installed one in just one window of our bedroom (after wrestling for a good hour to get the childproof bars off just one window, we have momentarily given up on the rest). Now, after we installed it, we noticed that when the bottom part of the window is open (i.e. the window is not closed and locked) the top half of the window slides down a little bit, leaving between 2-4" gap at the top of the window where there is no screen. We think that's how he got in.

Another thing I learned this morning - squirrels can really climb. In a way that is disturbing.


Here's our buddy Cyril, (yes, we named him), trying to high tail it away from us. I think he looks kind of like a cartoon.


Cyril really wishing he could get the hell out of here.


And yet, admiring our view. Which was nice of him, considering he must have been having a panic attack.


Cyril being bashful.


Cyril being sassy and attempting to wink at me I think.


My reaction to it all. I needed a moment.


And then I could not stop laughing.


Certainly not the way I expected to start my morning. Not remotely. Can't believe I was such a damsel in distress about it either. SO glad Geoff was home. Even the pictures kinda make my hair stand on end a little bit, if I think about it too much. Now, squirrels are cute and fun in a park or any other of their natural habitats. Our bedroom just doesn't happen to be one of them.

Not So Much

A few weeks ago Geoff and I decided we'd have some people over for a housewarming party this Sunday. True, we moved in almost 10 months ago, but I definitely still have a box or two to sort and find a home for and we just hung our first picture on the wall last weekend, so we're a tad behind. Which is par for the course.

But we decided to have a little party anyway. And then today, we cancelled it. We're too busy to even throw our own house warming party. How messed up is that? But now I have to work on Saturday and so does he and there's not even time to shop for food or clean the bathroom or shove the last of the boxes out of sight. So we let ourselves off the hook and are gonna postpone it a couple weeks. And I admit, I feel relieved. I would LOVE to have our friends over. Hardly anyone has even seen our place. But preferably at a time when I can do it without stress.

How did this happen?

October is too busy. As of the last week in September I was already booked every single night and nearly every day of every weekend until October 25. I love the fall. But not when it's so busy I can't even enjoy it.

There, I said it.

Colette & Evan

Yesterday I went to a wedding. As an actual guest, not the videographer. Which is something in itself, but this wedding was pretty amazing for another reason. When I moved to NYC in July of 2001, I subletted a place with my friend Sarah Lilley for a few months until I found a place of my own. I knew I was going to live with a friend from summer stock, Anne Mannal, and we were hoping to find a third. I put an ad on the Redeemer Classifieds, thinking that I would be less likely to room with a weirdo/psychopath if I found them from a church bulletin board instead of Craig's List. Not always a guarantee there either, but it just felt safer to me.

A girl named Colette responded to my posting. She was moving to NYC from Iowa in September and was willing to live with me and Anne in an apartment she wouldn't see until the day we moved in. So, everything was agreed upon, Anne and I found a great place and we all moved in on Sept 1, 2001. I remember that as of 9/11 we still didn't have cable, so we hooked our TV up to the previous tenant's cable cord that was dangling from the wall, and put the TV on a stack of boxes and were able to get a few channels that could fill us in on everything that happened in the days after, when I refused to leave Queens for a week.

Anne moved to LA a few years after that and we had a succession of roommates come and go in the years that followed, but Colette and I lived together from Sept of 2001 to December of 2007, when I was engaged and moved into the apartment I now share with Geoff (about 2 blocks from the old apartment). Which is kind of amazing, considering that she and I have almost nothing in common. I'm 5'9" and she's maybe 5'2". She would burn incense in her room and I can't stand the stuff. She is a little more "earthy" and eclectic than I am. I don't know that we have ever even bought the same groceries except for maybe milk, and even then, I would always go for skim and I think hers was always whole. I'm definitely a dog person and she would probably prefer a cat. I take showers, she always takes baths. She can deal with getting rid of the mice we would catch in our apartment and I am a COMPLETE chicken in that department. I definitely saw a dead mouse one morning and despite my guilt, I left it right where it was and went to work, hoping and praying (and knowing) that Colette would be able to handle it.

And despite all these differences and more, we have so much respect for each other as people and truly care about one another. She is a very talented playwright. She's wise and open and incredibly smart. She's a jewelry designer. The times that we would sit down and talk were always interesting and rewarding and I think it was living with Colette that truly gave me a sense of what it's like to care about someone that I probably never would have been friends with if we'd met at work or in college. One of the only things we did have in common, besides our faith, (which I guess is how we found each other in the first place) is the fact that neither of us really had an extensive dating history before moving to New York, and certainly were coming to the city as single girls with a lot of married friends. Throughout our time living together, I know we both often felt like we'd probably never meet anyone at all. And then we both did. I was SO excited for Colette when she and Evan met. I'd been dating Geoff for maybe about a year at that point, and it was awesome to see, even just a little bit, the beginnings of their relationship and how she was excited, but cautious. And then yesterday, I went to their wedding.


I just think it's amazing. I never would have dreamed it up for either of us. Thinking back to the girls we were seven years ago, and looking at our lives now, to me it's just an amazing example of trust. Trusting that the road you're on is the road you're meant to be on, even when you can't see around the corner. And even when it seems it's taking you a lot longer to get to mile markers that other people have left in the dust. It just makes me want to take a deep breath every day and remind myself to let go and trust.

True Confessions of an Internet Stalker

I didn't mean to. I'm not quite sure how it happened. And I blame my college roommate Courtney, actually. I read her blog every day (and a bunch of other friends' blogs) on my 10-15 minutes I get to eat lunch at my desk. Yesterday I was reading hers and read a post she did about some old family friends. When they were kids, her parents were friends with a couple who had kids their age and Courtney has reconnected with their daughter Jody. So Courtney did this great post about Jody and how wonderful and inspiring she was (they are both moms of big families) and so I just innocently popped over to the link Courtney provided to Jody's blog and I've been reading it ever since. I mean, literally. I think I read their blog on and off for almost 3 hours yesterday afternoon (in between getting things done at work). And I couldn't wait to get back to work this morning to read some more. I don't even know this woman. But I'm totally stalking her life.

I got sucked in by reading the story of Jody and her husband adopting twin 2 year olds from Sierra Leone and the incredible story of adding them to their family of four boys. It's fascinating to me. And she's very real about it, which I love. She talks about the amazing parts and also is honest about the really hard parts. I think that's why I keep reading. I respect and can relate to that kind of honesty. And think we maybe might be slightly alike in that way. And she must be a photographer of some kind - even if only an amateur one like me (another thing we might have in common) - because her pictures are amazing. Of course it doesn't hurt that her kids are also gorgeous.

It's fascinating how different people's lives are. I'm completely drawn into the world of a woman with 6 children in Iowa because its completely foreign to the world I live in. And hers is fascinating to me. I can't imagine being in her shoes, and yet I can. At any rate, I have to be reading about their family every second. I am doing this at work, mind you. I'm so engrossed in it that I get mad when the phone interrupts me, or my boss interrupts me and actually wants me to do my own job for a second. How dare they! I'm in the middle of reading about the Landers' family vacation to Colordao and how Quincy had a meltdown at the amusement park.

Oh crap. Jody just posted about two of her friends, Amanda and Britlee, BOTH of whom have blogs. Have to go read theirs now. Internet stalking is really hard work, and very time consuming. Gotta get back to it.

And yes, I did include the link to Jody's blog so that some of you can stalk her too (the story of going to Africa to get the kids starts in late May of this year) and I can feel slightly less creepy. But seriously, how could you not read about these kids?! Look at those faces!

Kora

Zeke

It's really weird that I just posted photos of another woman's children on my blog, right? A woman that I don't even know. I did semi- introduce myself in a comment to her on her blog. Does that make it at all better? Oh geez. Still completely weird and psycho and innappropriate, right? Well, fortunately any of you actually reading this know me well enough to know that even if I may be a little weird and occassionally inappropriate, at least I am not actually psycho.

Right? You know that, right?

God, I'm just making it worse...

The Birthday Girl

Today is my mom's birthday. I just want everyone to know how grateful I am for her. Without a doubt, I have the best parents in the world. No offense to any other parents out there reading this, but I'm sorry, my folks could totally take you.

Things I love about my mom:
She always wants everyone to feel welcome and special.
She is everyone's best friend.
She is a great secret keeper.
She lives on an island in Maine and picks berries from her own land and makes them into a cobbler (please!).
She volunteers when no one else will.
She loves you enough to never want you to feel any pressure to be anything other than yourself.
She is wise and understanding and a terrific listener.
She can put a positive spin on almost anything.
We have so much fun together.
She is the perfect hostess.
She is not afraid to talk in funny accents or dance around the kitchen.
She deals with the fact that almost the only time I ever have to talk with her is on my commute to work (which means competing with the noise of passing trains, the loud announcements at the station, and conversations being cut off when the train goes into the tunnel).
She loves and supports her family in what seems to me, a very selfless way.
She is a great example to me of the kind of mom I want to be someday.

Mom I love you so much. I hope you had a lovely birthday.
xoxo
kate

Fancy at the Last Minute

On the same night that I came home to find our completely green kitchen, I got a call from Alison saying that she had two extra party passes for the opening her show that night, and did Geoff and I want to get dressed up and meet her and Stephen downtown at Cipriani for the party. Um. Yes please?

So we met them at the theatre and took the world's longest cab ride downtown. But finally we got there and the party was in full swing.


The ceiling of Cipriani was pretty cool...


We quickly snagged some food and somehow the beverage of the night became champagne. Which I quite enjoyed.


Stephen and I having a "cheers!"


How gorgeous are my two friends? I know everyone is dying over Alison's dress. She was stunning and fancy and the very example of how cool I wish I could be.


The four of us...


I think I must have just told Alison how much champagne I'd had at this point...


Alison taking a picture of me and her friend Dan. Clearly we must not look so good.


Me and Jim Moye. He and I went to rival high schools in southwest Virginia, did community theatre together where he played Curly in Oklahoma (they made him get a perm - SO wish I could dig up pictures) and I did his make up. We also both went to the same college and now are both in New York and he is in Alison's show. I've known him for over 15 years, which is completely wild. It's so fun to be reconnected!


One of my favorite pictures of the night...even though the picture quality itself is dark and grainy, it just really captures the evening, and especially these two. Just fun, friends, celebration, good times. There's nothing like being at a party with friends who know and love you completely. So much so that they (Stephen) are willing to get on a train from Boston to NYC on a THursday afternoon to be your date at opening night, stay with you at the party until you've basically shut it down and then get back on a train for Boston at 3am, and still make it to your 10am meeting on Friday morning. That's real friendship right there. And does Alison look like a 30s movie star or what?


It was a blast, despite not getting home until 230am on a school night. We've been to a ton of opening night parties for Broadway shows in our day, but this may have been the best one. I think it was because I didn't have anything to do with this show, so I didn't have to work at the party. It makes a big difference.

Going green

We took on quite the project this weekend. Now, one wouldn't think that painting a small bathroom and just two walls of a kitchen would take all weekend. Well in our case, one would be wrong.

We decided to paint our kitchen a vibrant shade of green and our bathroom a lovely shade of blue. We'd finally picked out the colors and picked up the paint last weekend, but didn't have time to paint until this weekend. We had a nice morning on Saturday, and set to painting after a late breakfast (yes, you guessed it, bagel sandwiches. And I wonder why I have gained weight since the wedding).

Here is what our kitchen looked like before painting, the view from our living room.



We moved the table, butcher's block, fridge, did all of our taping, and started painting. Here I am sirring the paint. I only include this photo since you can kind of see our new coffee table behind me and I haven't taken a better one yet. Just to give you an idea...


Even after we had both coats on we started to fear that the color was too dark. Geoff disliked it right away, as you can kind of tell from this photo if you look real closely at his face.


I, as usual, took a little longer to make up my mind. I decreed that we would wait and see what it looked like in the sunlight tomorrow, since by this time it was grey outside and getting dark anyway.

We then attacked the bathroom. Geoff was afraid the blue wouldn't look blue, as it was very light and white-looking initially. But, as we've learned from painting the kitchen, paint dries darker than it is when it goes on. So the bathroom turned out quite lovely. As the bathroom was drying, Geoff started to watch the USC/Ohio State game, which he thoroughly enjoyed. He actually did a lot of yelling at the TV, as is usual when people watch football. Mostly positive, except for one bad call by the refs, after which he tore them a new one from the comfort of our living room. I am perfectly used to yelling at the TV during football, as I come from a long line of vocal college football fans ("Oh, he's gone! He's GONE!!" being my dad's favorite as a wide receiver breaks away and eludes tackles on his way to the end zone). It only was slightly problematic on Saturday if I had my back to Geoff or was entering from the other room or something. If I wasn't paying attention to him or the game and he yelled, it slightly scared the pants off me. Gotta stay aware, stay on my toes, always be ready for it. As it was a good game, he kept yelling louder and louder, and I can only imagine what the neighbors thought. Aw, keep 'em guessing...

So with the game over (good game, Trojans!) and the bathroom complete with touch ups and looking sparkly and the perfect shade of blue (still haven't gotten a picture of it in the sunlight, so those will come later), we watched a movie and went to bed FAR too late. Got up Sunday morning to check how our green kitchen was looking. A tad better in the light of day. But still just really green. A very dark, kind of muddy, GREEN green. Like if it were a musical it would be called, "Green! The Musical!" Exclamation points and referring to a musical as "The Musical" in the title, always kind of gives you the idea that you're in for something over the top. Which is not what we were looking for in our kitchen wall color. And this was not even happy over the top... it looked more.... angry/dirty over the top. We ultimately decided it was a bit much. It even was darker and muddier than this picture makes it look.


But, we couldn't do much about it right then, since I had to head off to the the theatre to see a show I helped cast at work, A Man For All Seasons (starring Frank Langella) and Geoff had to get to a film shoot with his friend Tim, but we decided he would pick up some new paint on the way.

After the theatre, I came home, got groceries, dropped off our laundry, picked up some fresh flowers for the house, and organized my bedroom closet before starting on some Turkey Chili Stew for dinner. I'd only chopped the peppers and onions when Geoff came home at 7pm with new paint and the idea that we'd just get it all done tonight. So we took a deep breath, threw the veggies in a zip lock to cook on Tuesday, and dove in. We'd left the tape on from yesterday, fortunately, so we had a bit of a head start. The evening proceeded as follows:

7:30pm - Move furniture, throw down drop cloth, open a couple of coronas and commence painting the primer coat
7:37pm - Am reminded to take off my rings, when a huge glob of primer lands on my engagement ring. Not to worry, it came right off
8:15pm - Geoff breaks broom handle that was attached to roller, permanently leaving part of the broom IN the roller.
8:20pm Geoff leaves for Rite Aid to buy a new broom, I continue painting edges.
8:31pm - Geoff returns from Rite Aid with $5 broom, which he promptly dismantles to use in roller #2
8:33pm - Geoff, clearly not knowing his own strength, breaks roller #2
8:55pm - Primer coat finished, we order dinner. I break down and order waffle fries.
9:10pm - Dinner arrives. We enjoy it, and our second round of beers, while watching the pilot of J.J. Abrams new series, Fringe.
9:22pm - We decide we don't really care for the multiple shots of the man with the see through skin on the show. Slightly disturbing, especially while eating.
9:30pm - Geoff bids me finish my dinner and enjoy the show for a bit while he gets started on the coat of new, lighter, lovelier green.
9:35pm - I watch with approval from the couch as the lighter green already looks MUCH better than Green! The Musical!
9:41pm - I feel sufficiently guilty that Geoff is working while I watch the scary see-through-skin man, and go to join him. (this picture makes it look slightly more yellow in color than it actually is.)


10:04pm - We both have much joy at how much better this color is and how we are almost done, just a few touch ups left
10:27pm - We finish and decide that one coat of green is enough. We celebrate by watching the end of Fringe, and despite the see-through-skin guy, enjoy it. I enjoy seeing NY actors I know in the supporting parts. (Lovely work by Jason Butler Harner and Blair Brown, and Jasika Nicole, who I'm impressed with, as I remember her from her college showcase just a year or so ago).
11:18pm - Go to pull the tape off and all of a sudden the paint comes off with it. In sheets, like wallpaper. Or even easier - like cheap nail polish. Not only our light green coat, but also the dark green AND the white that the room was painted when we move in. We are down to what appears to be plaster? It's a little dusty to the touch.


11:20pm - Um. We stare at it, not knowing quite what to do. Possibly Geoff says a swear word under his breath.
11:22pm - We triage by just pulling the tape off really really slowly everywhere else. Or I do. Geoff pulls the paint off in sheets in the 2 foot section between the corner of the room and the window, floor to ceiling.
11:34pm - we create a cut line to stop the madness of the peeling.
11:38pm - We contemplate having to have the super come look at it and fix it in the morning.
11:40pm - We abandon that idea, shrug our shoulders, throw a coat of primer on the bald patch of wall and follow it up with a coat of the green.
12:05am - We decide that we do in fact need two coats of the green on the rest of the walls that have not peeled off.
12:29am - Still painting
12:35am - Geoff says I have done a "half-cocked" job with the second coat on the section that I started with the roller that he broke earlier. I don't care enough to protest.
12:50pm - I continue to do a "half cocked" job on the trim.
1:00am - Geoff declares that as it is 1am, we are NOT getting up early to work out. Couldn't agree more.
1:20am - We declare the painting finished.
1:25am - I start to pick up the discarded tape and sheets of paint that came off the walls and vow that no matter how it looks when it dries and when we finally take the tape off the ceiling, we will NOT paint the kitchen anymore.
1:45am - Geoff wants to move the furniture back into place. I remind him the paint is not dry yet and go lie down.
1:53am - I give up entirely and go to bed. Geoff is still cleaning.
2:35am - After waking myself up coughing, I walk out to the living room to get my inhaler from my purse and am dazzled by how awesome the kitchen looks. Geoff has cleaned everything up, put all the furniture back and it looks amazing. Amazing. And I love it. And somehow seems worth all the madness.



PS: 12:24pm on Tuesday (2 days later) - I still have paint in my hair.

PPS: 7:02pm on Thursday (4 days later) - I arrive home to find Geoff out on an errand. I call him and he asks me to do him a favor and go into the kitchen. I walk through the pass through from the living room and stare at our pretty green wall and think how nice it looks. I'm still on the phone with him waiting for what this favor is he needs from me. He says he thinks he left something on the wall. I look at the wall, wondering what mess he could have gotten into. Seeing nothing out of the ordinary (and remembering I'm the one who gets into messes), I turn to look behind me and see that he has painted the other two walls in the kitchen while I was at work! We now have a completely green kitchen and I LOVE IT. AND I love my wonderful husband for such an awesome surprise.

Alison Says

Alison says that I should remind people to scroll down below my big treatise on my NYC day for new blog postings. Cause, 'member I just screwed everything up by taking a time out to talk about that day. I would feel more justified reminding people to do so if I had actually posted anything new in a week. Which I haven't. But Alison suggested it, "just in case any of your other friends are idiots like me." Her words. So, scroll down to read the new stuff...