Oh Christmas....Shrubbery

Last year you may remember my attempt at a Christmas tree was a wreath. Now granted, a wreath that got a much better photo shoot than I managed this year. And complete with a very excellent decorating idea that I did (in fact) see in Real Simple this year. I think they are stalking my blog for ideas.


Hm.


Anyhooooo, this year, we're making a bit more progress toward an actual tree. We've graduated to a small bush. A few days before Thanksgiving, Mom mentioned that she could cut me a Christmas tree from their land in Maine and bring it down to hand off at Thanksgiving. I insisted that I would need something small, something that could maybe sit at the end of our entertainment center, as opposed to a real tree on the floor. Well, Mom heard me loud and clear and just in time to pack up the car, she pulled me a "tree" out of a rock in Maine, stuck it in a pot, and lo, I have officially moved up in the world. From wreath to... shrubbery.


I love it so much.

Forgive the fuzzy iPhone photos. I love how random it is. How it swoops weirdly to the side. I'm calling it avantgarde. It's very "artsy". Very non-conformist. Very "doing its own thing". I honestly could not love it more. It's the perfect amount of "tree" for us to manage with our crazy lifestyle. And those shell ornaments sure were just plucked from the beach on a walk with my mom over Thanksgiving and just tied right on with red string. It couldn't look more busted, particularly in these horrible, horrible photos.

I mean it's nothing fancy and legit like this.


But that's even a hair overdone/Martha Stewart-ish for my taste. Though certainly, closer to my actual taste. I mean, honestly my shrubbery looks like something a third grader brings home from school. But when those little white lights come on, all is right with my world.

I think it's heaven. Even if the photos are atrocious.

The Extent of Christmas

I've never had a Christmas tree all my very own. I mean, we had them as kids. And I think we got them when I was in college or just out of college and living with girlfriends in various houses and apartments. And there's one in Georgia where my family does Christmas. Clearly, since I wrote about it falling down last year. (See Ali, you are not alone.) But I haven't ever had one any of my 8 years in New York. Geoff and I have never had one together either. Not that we've had more than one married Christmas together. But still. I always feel a little sad that we don't really decorate for Christmas. But December is usually crazed enough anyway. It's all I can do to buy Christmas presents for both families and my office co-workers in time. I've possibly never done Christmas cards. I just don't know if I'm ever going to have it together enough to get holiday cards out on time. You know....the ones with pictures and a "newsletter" that you're supposed to send to everyone you know? I'm gonna go on record and say that will likely never happen. Possibly ever. At least not until I have less of a crazy job. So when you don't receive a Holiday card from us, it's not for lack of love and well wishes. It's for lack of my act being together.

But I would kinda like to have a Christmas tree. But, on the other hand....we're not actually home for Christmas ever. We're always with family in another state. And all my Christmas decorations are in a box on a top shelf in the front hall closet that we may just never actually be able to get to again. And December is so busy I don't know when we'd find time to do it anyway. But I picture a tree all twinkly with white lights and I sigh a little bit on the inside.

Well, on Sunday Geoff and I were at the grocery store and he insisted we buy me a wreath. And a poinsettia. I allowed myself to be talked into it. It was kind of a big step. A live wreath. (Which I'm now regretting a little on account of the crazy shedding). It's not shaped particularly well. And we couldn't hang it on the door because our door is metal and there's no place to hang it. So it's hanging kind of strangely in the living room next to the TV. Where we can see it and enjoy it more anyway.


We brought it home and then I realized I needed to decorate it somehow. I dug through my ribbon/wrapping paper/random gifts box to see what was in there. Came up with this orange ribbon that had a little wire to it, so it was bendable. I fashioned a fairly wonky-looking bow. Which was on the small side since I didn't have a ton of it. So I had these three Christmas ornaments I got a Pier One last year for 99 cents each. I'd used them as favors for a birthday party. I just placed them at the base of the wreath. Then it still looked pretty bare, so tried some other ornaments that were not all packed away in the highest farthest box. They were too big and/or too much. So then I dug around in my jewelry drawer for a bit and came up with three pairs of earrings that all had a bit of sparkle to them and that I don't wear very often. They turned into mini ornaments.


I have to say (true confession), I was a little bit on the "impressed with myself" side that I though of that. They don't sparkle or stand out quite as much as I'd like, but not too shabby for a makeshift wreath decoration idea. And great since you don't have to buy anything but the wreath. Which I like because, as we know, I don't like to spend more than $40 on anything. So as long as you're ok with wonky bows and slightly under performing sparkly earrings, it makes for a lovely decoration. Considering my act's lack of togetherness, I'm totally ok with it. And, yes you guessed it, I think Real Simple should be told about my earrings idea. I mean, I'm not saying I should have a regular column in that magazine, but maybe they could do an annual special feature on me and my clever ideas. I'm not sayin', I'm just sayin'. (Except maybe they would use only my ideas and and not my actual product 'cause here's what, Real Simple could make it look prettier than my ragamuffin-i-did-it-myself version)

So this is an ok substitution for a tree for me for now. Even thought a wreath looks fairly bizarre hanging on a living room wall. Maybe there will be a tree in my future someday. Hopefully soon. Since putting up the wreath I had to do some minor rearranging of furniture. And here's hoping that this time next year there's a tree where that wreath is....

Ghetto or Genius?

I have to confess something. Though I have organizational skills for sure, I'm also slightly a mess. Geoff has always affectionately referred to me as a ragamuffin. Which is a nice way of saying, "a slight disaster, but in a charming way".

I never send birthday cards on time, if ever. Or anniversary cards. Even though they are marked on my calendar. Important dates always sneak up on me. I haven't been to the dentist in over a year and a half. Not because I'm afraid of him but because I just can't get around to it. I need new contacts and really want new glasses. Can't get to the eye doctor either. Despite the fact that Geoff refers to my current pair of glasses as my "fat girl glasses". Meaning that they don't look like something his sexy wife would wear. They look like what the sad fat girl wore in middle school. And he's not wrong. But I still can't get to the glasses store for a new pair.

I once wore this pair of sunglasses all the way to work before I realized that they were broken.



And then I bought another pair and the exact same thing happened. Seriously? Seriously.


I have about 12 gift cards, some for significant amounts of money that we got as wedding presents that just sit in my purse because I don't have time to go to Bed Bath & Beyond. There are STACKS of folders with headshots near my desk that I just can't find time to file. I've only done half the thank you notes from our wedding. And the rest of them just give me the evil eye every time I get in late from the theatre and have to just fall into bed. Geoff has given me an "Inbox" in an attempt to organize my desk at home and I always forget to look in it. I go FAR too long before doing laundry. Which results in some questionable outfits. I always put my makeup on every morning on the subway on the way to work, as I inevitably run out of time while I'm getting ready at home. Despite introducing myself as Kate Boka, and having changed my work email, I've not even legally changed my name since the wedding because of all the paperwork and the running around all over the city to get it done. I have one black dress that I have worn to basically every opening night I've gone to since I've started this job over 4 years ago. As Geoff has pointed out on many occasions (in a nice, but slightly sad voice), I am not very good at doing the dishes, as apparently I consistently miss a spot. Or multiple spots. And you may remember the "half cocked" painting job I did on our kitchen.

But the most classic example, and truly the moment I realized just how busted I am, occurred last weekend. I was searching for an outfit to wear and pulled out a yellow shirt that I wore a lot in Italy....particularly you might remember it from the pictures of bike riding in Lucca. It has all these pleats on a band at the bottom and I haven't worn it since I washed it last and it was really wrinkled. However, I never iron anything. Mostly because our ironing board is broken and so we threw it out three weeks ago, but also because there's never any time for ironing. I just usually pick another outfit to avoid ironing. Which can take even longer than the ironing itself.

But I really felt this shirt calling to me and wanted to wear it. So there I was, standing alone in our bedroom, half dressed, running late, talking to myself and ironing my shirt with the flat iron that I am supposed to use on my hair. It actually worked pretty well on those pleats but of course, it couldn't reach the rest of the shirt. And I thought to myself....this is ridiculous. And yet.....(picture the lightbulb going on)...resourceful. Who else has to iron a shirt with a hair straightener because they haven't had time to buy an ironing board? Probably lots of inventive New Yorkers. And possibly they should use it as a challenge on the Amazing Race. Or maybe I should send it in as an idea to Real Simple for their "New Uses for Old Things" section. And yes, I totally abandoned the yellow shirt for a different outfit when the flat iron couldn't work past the pleats.

But perhaps we will now view my "ragamuffin-ness" as both charming AND resourceful. In the same way that my lack of dishwashing skills could just be viewed as a resourceful/innovative way to get Geoff to wash the dishes. Wonder what Real Simple would think about that idea....